Ooh! A Western! The next book on my summer romance novel reading list was Tender is the Storm by (who else?) Johanna Lindsey. It tells the tale of Sharisse Hammond, a New York society girl who is running from an arranged marriage and Lucas Holt, a rancher out for revenge against the man who killed his father and in need of a wife. Lucas sends for a mail order bride and is rewarded with Sharisse, who is more of a handful than he had bargained for.
Sharisse Hammond is arranged to be married to a young New York man who befits her privileged station. But when she learns that her sister is in love with her fiancee, she agrees to run away to avoid the marriage. She hops on a train and heads for Arizona, where she is posing as a mail-order bride for Lucas Holt. Her plan is to deceive him and delay for a while so she won't have to actually marry him. What she does not expect is to be totally attracted to the man who now holds her fate in his hands. Even more disconcerting is Lucas's twin brother, Slade, a rough, savage man who never fully recovered from witnessing the death of his father. To Sharisse's dismay, she is attracted to both brothers, and has to reconcile her fear of Slade and her trust of Lucas with her attraction to them both. Finally an encounter with Slade sends her running into Lucas's arms, and they do it. Outside. In the open. Next to the fire. Dangerous. What Lucas isn't telling Sharisse is that he has no more intention of marrying her than she does of marrying him. So neither of them are happy when they are forced to wed by the abrupt appearance of a preacher. They fight, and Sharisse hops back on a train to New York. One year later, Lucas catches up to Sharisse in New York, dressed to the nines and ready to marry her for real. She surprises him with twin baby girls, and they reunite and confess their love and live happily ever after. Oh, and Lucas is actually Slade, and the actual Lucas was killed at the same time as his father. Yeah...
This book left kind of a sour taste in my mouth. There was the usual deception/misunderstanding plotline, plus pregnancy and the requisite class divide. Aside from the cover, it was pretty unremarkable. So this space will be used to discuss the awesomeness that is the cover. First, I would like to draw your attention to the fantastic nudity of the hero. He is butt nekkid in the middle of the wilderness. There's snakes out there, dude, you don't want your fantastic thighs being chomped on, now do you? But I'll bet his backside is getting awfully ticklish from those grasses. Kind of awkward trying to sex up your girlfriend while your butt is being tickled by desert grasses. That being said, I have to give it to the artist for staying true to life and making his buttocks paler than his torso, since you know those aren't getting as much sun as his chiseled abs. Second, I'd like to mention the heroine. Her dress is falling off, and her breasts are strategically placed right over his... well, you know. Do you think that's the point? Is that what they're doing? Also, she kind of looks like she's passed out. Is he about to ravage a comatose woman? Uncalled for, dude, not okay. And another thing - where's she getting eyeshadow in the desert? Just a thought.
Stay tuned for the next installment set in the barbarically sexy Middle East - Silver Angel.
P.S. I was never able to discern how the novel got its title. Tender is the Storm? There were no storms. At all.
I feel like I should start this review with a disclaimer - this was the first "classic" romance novel I ever read. I found it at a used book sale on campus and was immediately enraptured by the cover. It's really a classic - Fabio holding tight to a woman whose hair is flowing and whose dress is falling down. It was a fairly typical plot - highborn lady finds herself the captive of a highborn lord and this sparks a passionate romance marked by power struggles, misunderstandings and some hot lovin'.
Hearts Aflame is the story of Kristen Haardrad, the only daughter of Viking chieftain Garrick Haardrad (remember him? The rapist?) and Royce of Windhurst. The story starts with the attempted rape of Kristen by one of the other Vikings. Pretty sure the purpose of this part is to illustrate how mind-blowingly desirable our heroine is. Anyway, she doesn't want to wait for her father to find her a husband, so she decides to stow away on her brother's merchant ship, planning to find her own husband at some trading port. Little does she know that her brother is actually on his way to go raiding and pillaging his way across England! When they arrive in England, the Vikings are ambushed by an English force and Kristen's brother is killed, causing the Norse beauty (disguised as a man, of course) to attempt to avenge his death. She almost succeeds, but instead is captured, along with the entire crew of the ship. Some Vikings they are. The Vikings are unlucky enough to be captives of a man (Royce) who holds a grudge against Vikings for killing his fiancee, so he treats them quite meanly, going so far as to have Kristen (still dressed as a man) flogged. Her gender is discovered and she is put to work in the castle, kept shackled and bound. The fierce beauty resents this, and does her best to convince her captor to release her, but it is to no avail, at least until Royce realizes that she is nobility and thus acknowledges his desire for the Viking princess and seduces her in his room. Kristen is a willing victim of his passion because she believes that his realization will cause him to unshackle her. NOT SO. He keeps her tied up, and they keep having angry sex until the end of the book where Kristen's father comes to England to kill Royce, and they duel, but don't kill each other, and then Kristen and Royce live happily ever after. Oh yeah, and Kristen's brother isn't actually dead.
As I said before, this was my first real historical romance novel, my first Johanna Lindsey novel, and my introduction to the genre. I have a fond space for it in my heart. But on top of that bias, it is one of my favorites for a couple of reasons, delineated below:
1. No rape. There is attempted rape and allusion to rape (both painting rape as a bad, horrible thing) but all sex between Royce and Kristen is consensual. There is angry sex, but both partners want it, so it's okay.
2. No pregnancies. Although Kristen and Royce are doing it fairly frequently, he doesn't put a bun in her oven. No pesky maternal or paternal responsibilities to mar this romance, no siree!
3. Very little deception and misunderstanding. No tears of confusion, no anger because of supposed extra lovers, no hidden pregnancies, just lots of angry sex. Consensual, angry sex. Perfect.
Stay tuned for the next installment, Tender is the Storm - a Western!
The third book I suffered through in the name of Summer Romance was Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey. It is the story of the lovely but androgynous Lady Brenna, who is the victim of a vicious Viking attack and is spirited away from her home in Wales to become the [sex] slave of Garrick Haardrad, son of the Viking cheiftain. Their love affair is fiery, passionate, and rape-tastic.
The novel opens with a rape. This will be a continuing theme throughout the novel. Anyway, a boy shows up out of nowhere to save the damsel in distress and lo and behold, the boy is not a boy at all, but the lovely Lady Brenna! Her father raised her as the boy he never had, and Brenna rejects traditional women's work like cooking, weaving and sewing. But she is in for a shock when her father arranges her marriage to a Viking in order to make sure that their fiefdom will not be raided. This is supremely unsuccessful, as the very man her father arranged her to marry shows up and raids their fiefdom. All the men are killed, the castle destroyed, the women raped and shipped off to Norway. Brenna is spared a rape (for now) and is given to hard-hearted Garrick to be his slave. Brenna proves impossible to tame, and mouths off to her new master all the time. They have a hate-hate relationship right off the bat, but does that stop Garrick from taking her? No, it does not. By my count, that's rape number 17. At least. Anyway, after many escape attempts and misunderstandings and more rapes, Brenna is set free, and she gets pregnant and bears Garrick's child, and he realizes that he loves her, and she loves him, and then they get married and live happily ever after.
If I haven't made myself clear yet, I hated this book. This seems like the perfect time for me to talk about rape in historical novels. First, let me say this. Rape is not sexy. Good relationships do not begin with rape. Women do not fall in love with men who rape them. Okay. that said, for some reason, historical romance novel writers think that no one had sex back in the day unless it was rape. They also seem to think that a heroine who is raped by some ruggedly handsome rascal will fall in love with him if forced to stick around for a while. I hate this notion. I hate it I hate it I hate it. So why is it so prevalent? Here's what I think.
1). I think that romance novelists exaggerate the fantasy of a dominant male.
2). I think that readers enjoy[ed] these sorts of scenes because they are either housewives whose sex lives have fizzled out and they crave excitement or virgins who have never had sex and fear that saying "yes" to sex or being an active participant in sex makes them a slut. Maybe not to that degree, but the idea that having the decision taken out of your hands about whether or not to have sex is sexy. And honestly, it's not. There is nothing sexier than a willing participant. And that is why I hated this book, because Garrick straight up rapes Brenna several times. It wasn't even the cop out "Oh she protested but secretly she wanted it" kind of rape, no, it was straight up forced sex she didn't want to have. And that is never okay.
3). I think that romance novelists assume that women didn't consent to sex before 1970. Sure, the Victorian Era was a little bit phobic of more sensitive areas, but in the 8th century AD? People banged. A lot. It was a fact of life. And yes, sometimes women wanted it.
So please, if you're a romance novelist, and you want to write a sex scene please make sure the woman consents. Rape isn't sexy. At all.
Stay tuned for the next book, Hearts Aflame, a book with no rape, and even more Vikings.
