Why?

The mornings are kind of hard, what with having to get up and feed myself and the cat and get to school on time. But nights are the worst. I wanted this apartment with the separate rooms so that we could be together 24/7 and still have our privacy. But it isn't that way. You're always at your boyfriend's house to sleep, and when you get home from classes you're either cranky or sleepy and neither is very much fun to be around.

Not to mention we have next to no food. I have eaten ramen noodles and popcorn today. And a bagel. That is all. It was your turn to buy the groceries this week, but you bought maybe $30 worth of food because you spent our food money on your sorority dues because you quit your job. Just quit the sorority! You hate it anyway.

And our cat! He is sweet and lovable but you yell at him when he knocks your stuff over on accident. You never feed him or play with him. He watches the door when you leave and sits by your bedroom door waiting for you to get home.

Please be here for us. We miss you.

And the green grass grows all around

I've been here for about a week now - actually, exactly a week. My plane landed at 11:00pm last Thursday. I was so excited to be home - green trees, grass, blooming flowers, my bedroom, my family, my friends. It seemed to me that everything I loved was here. But...that is not so. I have also grown to love the searing heat of the Arizona desert (well, not love exactly), the intense glare of the sun, the bustle of an actual city. And now I find myself pining for Arizona the way I used to pine for Wisconsin. And whenever someone asks me what I'm doing after college, I get a sinking feeling in my chest. My answer used to be an instantaneous "Oh, I'm definitely going back home." But now the thought of trading the wild beauty of Arizona for the equally lovely if a bit more domestic Wisconsin is harder - the lines of home have blurred. If home is where the heart is, and my home is in two places, does that mean my heart is in two pieces?

Get me a one way ticket on the FAILboat

I pretty much had an FML weekend. I sat around, watched some BSG, and ate. OH EXCEPT FOR MY CONCERT WHICH WAS GOOD.

And. Just thought you all should know, I'm going to be singing for EL PRESIDENTE DE LOS ESTADOS UNIDOS.

Goodnight.