I Can't Fight This Feeling Any Longer

So for some reason every time I leave Barnes and Noble on any particular weekend, I am left with an inexplainable, unquenchable need to be or do or have more than I am or do or have. I leave with a sense that I should immediately begin working on my Pulitzer prize-winning novella, or that I should somehow bump into the man of my dreams and fall madly in love and have a whirlwind romance. And this desire or urge or whatever it is always goes unfulfilled because, as I well know, I will never start my Pulitzer prize-winning novella or meet the man of my dreams immediately after leaving Barnes and Noble at 11:00 on a Friday or Saturday because, let's face it, I have no motivation or inspiration to write my novella, and the man of my dreams is definitely not going to jump out in front of my moped as I whiz down the street and cause me to stop and fall in love with him.

But nonetheless, that desire just hits me every time. And after the urgency of the feeling has passed, I am left with a strange aftertaste of sorts that causes me to listen to emo music and classic rock.

So that's what I'm doing right now, as well as experimenting with making livejournal icons. Except that I'm worried they'll all turn out incredibly emo. Like me.

And now I actually kind of feel like an adult

Mostly because of this whole 9-5 sort of job thing I have going on. It is a giant pain in the rear end. I get up early, work all day, come home, eat, maybe watch a little Supernatural (whose season finale pretty much blew me out of the water!!) and then go to bed (ridiculously early because I'm so tired from working all day) and start all over. And this weekend really didn't help all that much.

So in addition to my job at the clinic, I'm also back at Swimtastic. Woohoo. Anyway, I was asked to help out with a Kid's Expo out past the mall. Our booth included a dunk tank. Lots of fun, you say? Hardly. It was quite possibly the most miserable, spirit-crushing, physically uncomfortable experience of my entire life. Not only did I have to sit almost naked (I was wearing a swimsuit) on a metal seat while small children threw giant baseballs to dunk me in the water, but the water was frigid. The venue at which the expo was being held had an unfortunate lack of a hot water heater. So...picture me, for 2 and 1/2 hours in a swimsuit being continually dunked in a giant tank of freezing cold water. I was so numb I was actually crying as I got dressed in the bathroom stall after my shift was over because putting clothes on hurt so badly.

I do not get paid well enough for that.

Obligatory End-of-School List-type-thing

Despite all of my efforts to avoid the typical end-of-year nostalgia, it has quietly, carefully, sneakily crept up on me and grabbed me firmly in its clutches. I think that it is human nature to feel a bit of regret any time something comes to an end, no matter how awful or wonderful or scary or new or boring or exciting it is. Human beings are creatures of habit - we like to have things stay the same, to remain static, to change as little as possible (or perhaps that's just me). And though I'll be glad to leave this place behind, to move out of the 225 or so square feet that I have called my own for the last nine months, I feel...not sad, not unhappy, not like I'll miss it terribly, but something kind of other. Wistful is close, but I'm not sure that that captures it either. Whatever it is, it demands that I make a list of things that I've learned. So, here goes.

-Living with someone is like being in a relationship - there's a give and take (and a give me back my stuff) and you have to pick your battles.
-Although solitude is nice, people really do need other people. Being alone all the time really is not good for a person.
-There are 10x more bacterial cells in/on your body than your actual body cells. EW.
-Drunk people are not as entertaining in real life as they are in the movies.
-It is impossible to write something that hasn't been written before.
-Money actually doesn't grow on trees, and you never need it more than when you don't have it.
-Eating healthily and living in a dorm are mutually exclusive.
-Although women are more likely than men to admit to being attracted to people of the same gender, men are more likely to have actually had a homosexual experience. Makes you wonder about boy scout camp.
-Boys are incredibly focused on appearance and will judge you very harshly. No matter what you look like, they will find a flaw (and it doesn't matter what they look like either - a fat kid is just as likely - if not more - to judge a girl for being chubby).
-As much as it is fun to be with people, you also always need time to regroup alone.
-It is impossible to get through a Monday morning without Starbucks.

Goodbye, ASU. See you in four months.